There Are Times

There were times when a miko had time to think. When she let her thoughts wander to that part of her mind that she wasn’t supposed to touch-because it invovled the impure thoughts of a normal human.

The normal human in Kikyo was allowing her a sad, nolstalgic memory at the moment. Being wrapped in InuYasha’s arms, feeling his warmth, and rough cloth of his fire rat kimono, his scent-that of a deep forest’s, intruding in her nose.

Moments that were quickly fading from her grasp. She’d seen the way InuYasha had been changing. How he and Kagome had become closer. How she wished...that she’d had a chance to be the one to do that. But it was her own fault, for not truly believing him in the first place. Not trusting him enough. But-then again...he hadn’t trusted her either. A two way wound that stung every time she saw him with her, and whenever he came to see her.

She would never be at peace when he was near. It left a bittersweet feeling about her, one that even her soul collectors could not comfort her out of. However, it was when she allowed herself moments of weakness that she had only what she could call a faint glimmer of happiness, and painful shards of sadness. Dreams that twisted her subconcious into believing she’d gotten her perfect ending with InuYasha. Dreams that invovled a family, and a home.

“Come on! Nee-chan-it’s my turn!!” the yonug boy whined, lunging at his older sister, the girl, clearly only a few years older than him holding a familiar sword above her head.

“Nuh-uh Tashio! to-to-san gave it to me to play with!” she bragged, a proud smirk on her face. The young boy’s amber eyes shone with jealousy for a moment and his rebelious raven hued hair bounced into his stunning eyes.

“Bull! Tou-san said I could see the Tetsusaiga!” Kikyo frowned at the harsh language a familiar shape was coming into view and had quickly clamped a clawed hand over the small boy’s mouth. “Oi-runt-watch your mouth, unless you want to hear the rough edge of your mother’s,” he grunted, a playful scowl set on his face. The girl brightened when the man had come over and looked to him with bright chocolate orbs. “To-to-san!” She dropped the sword and tackled the red clad man to the ground and he yelped, having brought Tashio down with him. “Oi! Katasha! Come on-get off you!” he ordered playfully, a grin on his face as he tickled the young child, whoin turn was laughing in mirth.

Tashio, the obivously clever child had gone over to pick up the sword and held the sheath proudly. “Tou-san! When are you gonna teach me to use the Tetsusaiga?!” he asked excited. The silver haired man sat up, his dog ears twitching on his head. “The moment your mother gets the idea that sharp objects are bad out of her head,” he called back, and Tashio’s face fell into a pout.

“But I saw you showing nee-chan how to use a sword two moons ago!” he protested. The two latter of te three gulped, looking at each other. Their idectical dog ears flattened as InuYasha pushed his finger to his mouth. “Quiet! Tashio don’t let her hear you! Or else she won’t let any of us touch ‘em!” He hissed quietly, only loud enough that a youkai  could hear him. Tashio grumbled under his breath before huffing. “Well-Kaa-san’s teaching me kyuudi, so I guess it’s fine...better then bein’ a tomboy loser,” he said with a smirk.

Katasha’s ear twitched and she narrowed her eyes, “What was that Tash?”
“Tomboy loser! Totally uncute!” he called, jeering at his sister with his tounge out. Katasha growled and was out of her father’s arms in a flash tackling her brother, the two tmbling about on the dirt.

“Yeah? Well this tomboy is gonna kick your ass!”

Again with the language...InuYasha really must mind his tounge better...

“That’s enough you two,” Her voice called, her form just out of her dream veiw. The wo stopped their tumble and Tashio scrambled out from under his sister and ran over to her. “Kaa-san!” he cried joyfully, hugging her red clad legs tightly. She heard herself laugh and she patted the boy’s toussled hair, “ara, Tashio-chan, why were you two fighting?” she asked, a slightly stern tone to her voice.

Tashio gulped and laughed nervously, “I called nee-chan an uncute, tomboy loser...” he muttered into the fabric. Kikyo sighed and shook her head, looking at InuYasha who was pretending to not have been around. “InuYasha?” His ears swivled and he turned, looking at her sheepishly, “yeah?”

“You let them go at it?”

“uhh...” he stood, picking up Katasha and walking over, “Sorry?” he muttered, kissing her cheek lightly in apology. Kikyo mearly giggled, picking up their son and looking up at him lovingly. “It’s alright InuYasha, I forgive you,” she whispered, kissing his lips lightly.

“Kikyo-sama?” Kohaku’s voic broke her from her dream state and she looked over at the boy, who had an apprehensive look on his face, “Are you alright? You had a strange look on your face,” he muttered, a bit concerned.

She smiled coldly, closing her eyes and turning her head away. “I am fine Kohaku, mearly think, is all,” she answered calmly, breaking off from their brief chat. She was thankful though, that he had awakened her-for that dream would only make her yearn more for what she could not have, or what she should have had. Bitter envy already coursed through her enough as it is, she did not want to be jealous of InuYasha’s happiness in this state as well. She sighed, and her calm mask raplaced her sad look.

Yes. Sometimes a miko would allow herself such impure and distracting thoughts, and it was in these moments of weakness that they felt the most human they could be.

But it was also when they were the most pained they could be as well.

(InuYasha (c) Rumiko Takahashi)