A Little Dare

I was young the first time we kissed. In fact, I'm pretty sure I was only five at the time. Thinking back on it I think it was in the school play yard when it happened. We were playing truth or dare. I always loved playing that game in elementary school-I never got tired of telling the boys to run around in only their underwear before the last bell as a dare. Nor could I ever give up a chance to watch Mai freak out over a toad when someone told her to kiss it. So truth or dare was sort of my childhood pastime. Thinking back if it had never happened maybe this would never have happened.

We all sat in a circle, near the corner of the courtyard under a tree, giggling at one another. Not me though. I had on just about the most devilish grin there could be. It was Shizuru's spin. I was really hoping I'd get her because I had a particularly good dare for her. I needed to get her back after she had gotten me to yell to the whole playground that I enjoyed having tea parties in pink dresses. Last time I ever invited HER over for one of those-I'll tell you that much.

"Ah! It's Yuuichi's turn to pick!" Mai cried, and I scowled. Figures. I didn't particularly like Tate's dares, or his truths, they were stupid. In my opinion at least.

A wide grin crossed his face as he glanced at me and then to Shizuru, "Truth or Dare Fujino?" he asked.  Now, I for one would've pinned Shizuru to pick a truth from him-no use trying to be brave with Tate's ridiculous dares.

"Dare," Well, she blew my guess out of the window.

Tate stood and jabbed a finger at me, startling me, "I dare you to kiss Kuga on the lips!" I froze, but only for a moment before I tackled the little jerk to the ground.

"Take it back you little jerk! That's not a fair dare!" I yelled at him, my fists balled in his tee shirt. I had him firmly stuck beneath me. There was a reason none of the boys messed with me. I could drop them in seconds.

"Ara, does Natsuki not want to kiss with me?" I heard Shizuru sniff. I blinked, jumping off of the offending ginger kid and shook my head furiously, blushing.

"No! That's not it! I mean-well-" I babbled. I couldn't help it. Shizuru seemed to be on the verge of tears and I was embarrassed. Try to imagine a five year old me dealing with someone wanting to kiss her. Think about it. At that age it was a miracle if I didn't kick you in the shins if you called me cute or girly. A kiss? Even from Shizuru it seemed to be a bit much.

Shizuru looked up at me with wide crimson eyes, "So Natsuki wouldn't mind?" she asked with growing excitement.

"erm…well…that is-" I wasn't allowed to finish my words because a pair of extremely soft lips pressed against mine in a chaste kiss. It was a child's kiss, more like mashed lips than an actual kiss, but even to this day I could remember it clearly. I also remember how after we'd parted and Tate started to catcall I punched him in the face. I got called down to my teacher's office that day. She kept me late too. I always hated Midori-sensei for keeping me late. She was STILL my teacher and she STILL kept me late for stupid reasons!

Shizuru waited for me after class. We always walked home together you see. I remember sulking and pouting as I walked beside her too. The conversation we had still stuck with me all this time too.

"Natsuki, are you mad at me?"

"Wha…why are you asking such a stupid question? Why would I be mad at you?" I answered her, incredulous at her question.

"It's just…" she bit her lip and looked at me a bit guiltily, "I did kiss you without your permission and…you got in trouble with Midori-sensei didn't you?"

I rolled my eyes and reached over with a hand to cuff her softly upside the head, "Knock off it Shizuru! I couldn't ever be mad at you! 'sides, it was stupid Tate who dared you to do it," I growled, "I'll get him for that tomorrow," I vowed.

"Wasn't giving him a bloody nose enough…?" Shizuru hazarded with a curious expression.

"No way! I'll get him for that! Don't you worry about that Shizuru-he won't ever dare you to anything crazy ever again!" I promised, punching my fist into my palm. I was glad for the wide smile I got in response.

"Natsuki's my hero," Shizuru giggled, a small blush on her cheeks, "is Natsuki going to always protect me?"

"Of course!" I answered excited, "You don't have to ever worry about anything like that ever again!" I promised. Thinking back, I had said those words pretty freely. A bit too freely. But to see Shizuru smile and laugh like that was always worth it. What she did next though blew my mind and still to this day stayed in my mind.

She leaned over and lightly pecked me on my lips again, a smile on her face and a small blush, "My Hero," she giggled, "does that mean Natsuki's my prince?" she giggled, grabbing my hand and tugging me forward.

"O-oi! B-baka! Slow down!" I stuttered through my blush and surprise, "what was that one for?" I questioned wiping my lips slightly with the back of my hand.

Shizuru smiled at me, more beaming than the proper smile she normally wore, "Well, okaa-san said that over seas a kiss is a common greeting between close friends," she explained, "and besides that, if Natsuki's my prince then that means I get to kiss her whenever I want, right?" she teased.

"O-oi! I didn't agree to that!" I cried, stumbling as my friend dragged me off towards our homes.

Of course, that didn't stop her. It was Shizuru, nothing could ever stop her. Every day when we walked to school she'd kiss me lightly on the lips before taking my hand and walking happily to school. This went on for years-until our middle school years were about over. It was one morning when Shizuru kissed me that I felt something flame up under my skin. Something I hadn't ever felt before when she kissed me. When she took my hand to drag me towards school I felt my cheeks flame up. That was new. I had gotten over full faced blushing when she kissed me I long time ago.

"Hey, Shizuru," I muttered, eyes downcast.

"Ara, yes Natsuki?"

"Erm…why do you still kiss me?" I asked, feeling the blush become considerably hotter, "I mean…we aren't in elementary school anymore after all…" I trailed off, feeling as though my words were weak.

Shizuru's silence for a while gnawed at my innards and I looked up at her calm face, "Does Natsuki not remember? She is my prince after all," she reminded, "Besides, it's only a kiss between friends is it not? It shouldn't bother Natsuki that much should it?" she mused, a pleasant smile on her face.

"A-ah…right," I muttered, my blush growing a bit more.

"Natsuki is so cute when she blushes," Shizuru giggled, and I floundered about to find words in my embarrassment.

"Damn it Shizuru!"

I spent a long time forcing myself to believe those words-A kiss between friends. It's only that. In fact, I wanted to believe that. I wanted this spark when her lips touched mine to stop. It was driving me insane. I couldn't figure it out. Why? Shizuru was my best friend. I'd known her since infanthood. Best friends. That's it. No more, no less. Right? I kept drilling it into my head-best friends do not want their best friend to kiss them like…that. Ugh, just the thought made me blush in shame. I hated myself for it. I couldn't get it! But Shizuru's kisses felt nice-and I couldn't go and tell her I wanted her to stop.

It went on peacefully like that until I was a second year in high school and she was a third year. That's when I started having…well…dreams.

Her skin was like heated silk beneath my hands and her moans were like a symphony. I was getting drunk off the feeling of her body being in contact with mine. It was maddeningly good. Each second felt like an hour. It was a never ending dream.

"Sh-shizuru…"

Needless to say I spent plenty of nights taking a cold shower during that time period. I felt disgusting. I was having…those sorts of dreams about my best friend. I felt sick with myself. Sick to my stomach. I couldn't take it anymore.

One morning I finally snapped. When Shizuru leaned in to kiss me I jerked back and grabbed her shoulders so she would stay away. I ducked my head and gulped, "I'm sorry but…please…don't kiss me anymore Shizuru," I shuddered as I said it. My heart was screaming, telling me that I was saying the wrong thing-saying I should turn around and ravage her mouth instead. I felt ill. I must have been pale as snow.

"Na…tsuki?" Shizuru's voice was unsure, uneasy. It was hurt to say the least. When her soft hand came in contact with my cheek I felt as though I'd been burnt.

"No! I…" I jerked my head away and looked up at her confused and shocked face.

"Are you okay…Natsuki?" she asked slowly, worry creeping into her face, "You look like you've seen a ghost…"

I wanted so desperately to tell her I wasn't okay, that I wanted her. That I wanted to be with her. "No-I'm…I'm fine. I…I just won't go to school today," I lied, wiping my forehead to try to calm myself.

Shizuru reached forward for me but stopped short before she got close enough to touch me. She bit her lip and looked down, as if she were trying hard not to cry. I felt like I'd been stabbed. I felt like a jerk. I was being an ass to Shizuru because of my own stupid, stupid libido. She turned away jerkily and nodded. "I see…well, I hope you feel better Natsuki, I'll see you tomorrow," she said, rushed as she quickly walked off without me.

I did end up staying home that day. I did physically get sick too. I retched and retched hoping that it'd purge me of my feelings too. I couldn't stop it. I felt like shit. I had just acted like Shizuru had the plague and then watched her walk off without a word. I was a coward. Hadn't I said when I was little I'd protect her? Do anything to keep her smiling?

"I still feel that way…I don't want to see Shizuru frowning…I don't want to see her cry," I muttered to my bathroom floor. I felt hot tears scald my eyes. Well, I had gone and blown it hadn't I? I had gone and hurt Shizuru in the worst way possible and I felt like crap. Way to go Kuga.

"I want…her to be happy…" I continued, "I'm happy when she is…" I shuddered and closed my eyes as I imagined Shizuru's smiling face. I smiled at the thought and almost chuckled. Shizuru looked sort of goofy when she actually smiled genuinely at me. I enjoyed it though. Watching her smile like that made me warm inside. I blinked my eyes open and mused over that thought for a moment. After Shizuru kissed me she always had that genuine expression on her face.
Maybe…that was why I felt so flustered after them? Wait…

I felt as though I was punched in the gut.

"I'm…in love with Shizuru,"

I got sick again, even though I was sure there was nothing more to come up. Guess I was wrong.

In love with Shizuru. Holy shit. I was screwed. She was my best friend. If I told her I loved her like that…would she hate me? Would she never want to see me again? Feel disgusted that'd I'd taken those kisses as something else?

"Oh god…"

The next day I did go to school. When Shizuru came up to greet me I found myself unconsciously bracing myself for a kiss only to not receive one. Shizuru simply smiled at me in that polite way and leaned forward towards me slightly, "Does Natsuki feel better?"

"Ahn…yeah, thanks," I lied. Truth was I hadn't eaten any breakfast. Last thing I needed was to hurl at her feet for thinking my twisted thoughts.

"I'm glad," She answered, turning and walking towards school. I blinked. Normally she'd have grabbed my hand by now and I'd be walking beside her chatting with her. For the first time since we were young and she'd dragged me along I was in back of her-facing her back as we chatted. I felt sad. I couldn't figure out why though. It made no sense to me.

This went on for a few weeks I think. I can't remember, they all sort of blended together as some pretty bad weeks. I got into a fight with Tate that week. I was edgy already and he pushed over the edge when he started poking at the wound by taunting me about Shizuru and me having a fight. Needless to say, that was one detention I felt was worth the two hours.

When I got out I blinked, and stared. Shizuru was waiting for me. There was something I hadn't expected. She hadn't waited for me to get out of a detention since we got into high school.

"Shizuru?"

"Let's walk home, ne Natsuki?"

We walked side by side for a while before we even started to talk.

"If I may ask why Natsuki had a detention?" Shizuru mused, glancing at my sideways.

I scoffed, "I beat Tate to a bloody pulp. I think I broke his nose this time. I hope Mai doesn't mind that I bruised up his eye too. She won't be kissing him for a while with his lip either," I glanced back at her, "If you knew I had detention why didn't you know why? Aren't you the kaichou?"

"True, but Suzushiro-san normally takes the detention reports after I sign them. She mentioned your name and I felt as though it'd be kind to wait," she explained and paused, "It's been so long since you had a detention Natsuki, why break your streak?"

"Because Tate's a ass and a bastard that's why," I growled, gripping my school bag tightly. My knuckles already hurt from pounding Tate, but I didn't care. "The little shit need to learn to keep his own business instead of looking at others!" I hissed.

"Natsuki!" I stopped and blinked at Shizuru. She had raised her voice at me, shocked and concerned, "what in Earth is the matter with you?" she pressed, placing her hands on my shoulder. "Lately you've been…acting peculiar. I'm worried about you Natsuki…Have you been getting into trouble with gangs again? Or going to street races?" she looked genuinely worried. For me.

I glanced away, "It's…nothing serious," I lied. I inwardly scoffed at myself. I'd been doing that a lot lately. Lying that is.

"You're lying to me Natsuki, please don't," Shizuru answered quietly, "You haven't beaten anyone up in years. Why now? What could possibly be bothering you so that you'd-"

"I love you," I cut her off, quickly blurting out what had been eating at me for years now, "Not like…best friend love. I'm…in love you," I added, looking fearfully into her shocked eyes. I looked down in shame, "That's why I asked you to stop kissing me…because I felt like it was wrong for me to use you that way," I chuckled humorlessly and shook my head, "I'm sick aren't I? Falling in love with my bes-" I was the one cut off this time, her lips pressed against mine.

Only…this wasn't one of our morning pecks, this was a full blown, bona-fide kiss. Like, I'm pretty sure we thoroughly ravaged each other's mouths on the sidewalk for a few minutes before breaking off and staring at one another.

Which brings me up to now, doesn't it? I'm leaning against a lamppost and waiting for her to come. She's a bit late today…lazy bum probably didn't want to get out of bed. Ah…there she is.

"Natsuki!" She called, hurrying over with a smile. I answered it with one of my own and took her hand as she leaned forward. Our lips met in a sweet kiss. No tongue in public-that was my rule. Besides, there'd be time for that after school at one of our places.

"shall we be off?" She asked with a bright smile. I grinned and nodded. Some day…I think I'll actually have to thank Tate for daring Shizuru to kiss me. Of course…the thought me actually apologizing to him is slim…how about I just give him a nice first aid kit and a ice pack? That seems fair enough, right?